Why the **** is Jacob always sick? Four times in the past three months. Over six instances last school year. He's welcome to sniffle, cough, and whine incessantly but so long as stays in his room. But no! Bathroom access becomes limited due to his repeated usage of the toilet during these periods, I'm forced to drive him to Walgreens to get medicine, and he contaminates everything in the suite. Why does he find it absolutely necessary to use the refrigerator, the microwave, hell even the shower?!
The ubiquitous germs floating throughout the suite don't take long to have their effect. It's guaranteed that within a week of him getting sick that everyone in our suite is suffering from the same cold. His presence in our suite is like constantly leaving the window open in December; he's a vestibule for diseases. A horde of plague invested rats would spread less disease because at the very least I could lock them in his empty room (and as an added bonus I could try my experiment of slowly killing them by filling the air vent with axe body spray and not get charged with the murder of a fellow classmate).
There are dozens of probable explanations for his frail immune system but frankly I don't care what they actually are. I'm just going to be thrilled that in four months I'll be rid of his collage of illnesses and will no longer have to pop Zicam on a weekly basis in fear of catching his latest virus.
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Make Jacob a bubble boy for the sake of humanity
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